I'm not sure whether to apologize for my absence, or simply accept that it is what it is and people can guess why I've been preoccupied.
I gave birth to my first child on November 2nd of last year.
My new found status of mother has not been an easy one. I cannot even begin to explain the world I've been living in for the last 6 months. But I can say that the Tao has been all but forgotten. More to the point, the person I was before has also been forgotten.
Along with the normal challenges of caring for a newborn, I have had numerous other obstacles thrown in my path such as jaundice, colic and a high needs baby.
I love my son beyond measure, but I am in desperate need of finding myself again. I need the position of mother to be one of the things that describes me, not the thing that defines me. It will be a struggle, for sure, but my happiness and sanity requires it.
So here's to a new challenge for this blog. Writing is something I've always found cathartic, so I am going to try my best to venture back here. I hope no one will mind that my posts will likely be different, because I am different.
But my journey continues...
Keep in mind that as taught by Tao, everything changes. Do not fret. You instinctively know that your focus has been drawn off the mark. So what? Even the earth grows dark within it's cycle. You will come around - and you will again be down. Ahhh the circles we travel!
ReplyDeleteWelcome back!
ReplyDeleteThanks for checking in. I enjoy reading your posts and was afraid something bad had happened. I was hoping it was just that you were busy, so this is good. I'm not a 'sage' by any means, but I will tell you that when I started studying Taoism I tried to find desktop wallpaper that would represent the tao. I finally settled on a picture of my son laughing.
ReplyDeleteGood to have you back.