Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Positive Thoughts

My first introduction to Taoism was through a book written by Wayne Dyer called Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life.  In the book, he gives his interpretation of the Tao Te Ching.  Now I have since learned so much more about Taoism, and realize certain potential shortcomings in his interpretations.  I know many on the Taoist forums that don't care for it (don't get me started on dealing with Tao-Trolls), but as my entry point, I can't help but love the book and feel it has a lot to offer me.  Because of this book, Taoism and positive thinking are irreversibly linked in my head.

Recently, my family has been through a lot, much of which I have posted about previously.  On top of it all, my mother-in-law recently underwent open heart surgery, throwing an already crazy life into more upheaval.  I'm happy to say she is home from the hospital and doing well, but we are still reeling from the emotional roller coaster. 

A few nights ago, I found myself overwhelmed.  Little one is teething, and not sleeping well, or eating well, he's pretty fussy all the time really.  Hubby was gone (understandably) and I was lost in what seemed a never ending spiral of crying, clinging, screaming, and fussing. 

Luckily, my husband is the master of positive thinking, and once he was home, he pointed out to me that even with all that was happening, it was still better than when we were dealing with colic 24/7.  He was right, of course, an annoying habit of his. 

I read an article online some time ago that aptly described the horror that is colic.  Something only someone who has dealt with it can understand (we're pretty good at spotting each other too, perhaps we don't hand out the cliche's quite as readily as most).  I wish I could find the article again, because it was so good and to give credit, but alas, I can't seem to find the same rabbit hole I had found that night.  This author coined a term we have begun using: Post Colic Stress Disorder.

This is not meant to minimize or compare to PTSD in any way.  I have a cousin who suffers, and I would never dream of claiming to understand his pain.  It does, however, refer the fact that my husband and I both tend to over-react to almost every sound our son makes.  Believe me, if you've ever had to keep a colic baby quiet while in public, you really have to see the fit coming and head it off at the pass (or fly like the wind and get out of there).  It appears to many that we are over-protective, or uptight, (and boy people aren't afraid to tell you so) but believe me, it's a habit formed of necessity, not choice.

It took that moment, being so overwhelmed that day, to sit back and realize, that while that day was bad, the days around it were not so bad.  There are so many ways we are able to enjoy our son now that we weren't when we were "in the trenches" so to speak. 

I am returning to my beginning (full cycle if you will) and reminding myself of the power of thoughts.  If I don't think of all the wonderful things, I can easily dismiss them and focus on the negative or more difficult things.  I hope this is a skill that can help all the members of our family appreciate all that we have, and continue to face the challenges knowing it does get better.

Now off to visit Grandma!