TaoQuote

If you overlook the Way right before your eyes,
how will you recognize the path beneath your feet.
-Shih-T'ou

Hafiz

Even after all this time, The sun never says to the earth,
"You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that,
It lights the whole sky.
~ Hafiz

I find this to be an incredibly profound poem. Selfless love is the hardest love to find, but is the path to true happiness. I believe we all could benefit from changing our outlook from one of entitlement to one of gratitude. Just some food for thought.

Journey from the Stream to Blogger

I am a Taoist blogger that had a blog on Blogstream for a few years. That site is shutting down and I am currently trying to decide where my home should be. I think there is a real possibility that I could end up here.

My blog will be about my random experiences and how I attempt to use Taoist philosophies to guide me through them.

I always welcome any comments or questions, I only ask that you remain polite.

2010: A Year in Review

This was a true roller coaster year for me, including lots of travel, tragedy and adversity.

Early 2010 was spent taking care of G’ma who unfortunately passed in late February. This was a loss that hit our family hard, as G’ma was more like a mother to Captain. I can tell it was the hardest loss he’s ever suffered in his life. We have lived next to her for 5 years, and she welcomed me into her family with open arms. A truly remarkable woman.

I turned the big 3-0 in March, but it passed without incidence. In April I took a trip to Florida to attend my cousin’s wedding (which I also officiated). I made new friends from Dominica and had a great time, resulting in the first hangover I’ve had in years.

Shortly after the trip, Captain and I decided to get our first tattoos. I LOVE mine, and am almost certain it won’t be the last. We also purchased a new truck and a new camper. In June decided to take a trip to Wyoming taking our adult niece and nephew with us. It was an incredible and timely trip full of great company, new experiences (horseback riding & white water rafting) and waterfalls.

Many camping trips populated the summer months, including several new places explored with good friends like Keosaqua and Amana. Unfortunately, we also said goodbye to a good friend this year as she understandably moved back home after losing her father.

Theater brought me playing a diva actress in the summer and directing in the fall. Capt. & I were also conned into joining the OCT board again. I kept my 4.0 in school even though the class roster included statistics (a big worry for me). We took another trip to Arkansas in September to visit our good friend there.

October was the two year mark of our trying to start a family. It was after that month that we received the diagnosis of infertility that left our family prospects looking pretty bleak. We have managed to rally from that dark time and keep hope alive, but we know it’s a potential long road ahead of us. The emotional roller coaster of the whole process has been tough, but I’m so happy we have each other, and a marriage strong enough to withstand such adversity.

November marked another year of NanoWrimo. I’m happy to report it was another winning year, and even happier that many friends and family can count themselves among the winners with me. We participated in more events this year that made a difference in our productivity and mentality.

Shortly before Christmas I published my first novel “Shades of Magic” that is available through Amazon. The holidays brought many visitors and lots of plans leaving me little time to dwell on the absence of children in my own house.

I am hoping to stay very positive in the year ahead, to restore my faith in myself and in the Tao. I feel like a spent a lot of this year with a dark cloud over me, I’m hoping to lift that cloud and love life even if things aren’t going as I would hope.

The Wild Wild West

So, it would be impossible for me to post everything about our trip out west, so I will just try to sum it up as best I can.

Day One: A long drive ending in Rapid City, SD and seeing the lighting ceremony at Mt. Rushmore. We also got to see the world's largest peanut butter cup, but that only resulted in plots to make our own bigger peanut butter cup.

Day Two: First up to the reptile museum where we saw giant turtles and Komodo Dragons. We also saw a billion snakes, each more poisonous than the last and the crocodile that starred in the James Bond movie Live and Let Die. Then a drive to Cody, WY.

Day Three: The large museum in Cody was our first stop, it has 5 sections: Old West Art, Wildlife & Nature, Plains Indians, Buffalo Bill tribute, and Firearms. (Guess where Captain spent all his time lol) After a visit to the old trail town, the others decided to partake in the classic rodeo while I rested up for the days to come.

Day Four: Off to the parks today, we left for our final campground, got set up in the Teton Resort park and had dinner at the Jenny Lake Lodge. First bear sighting as we drove in and elk sighting as we left the lodge.

Day Five: A long tour of Yellowstone National Park took all of this amazing day. We began at Old Faithful and hiked to a secluded area where we could see the entire geyser, also managed to see the other geyser which only goes off every 12 hours, so it's much harder to catch. We stopped at the Grand Prismatic Pools which were absolutely gorgeous. From there we headed to Yellowstone Falls (For anyone who doesn't know, I am a LUNATIC for waterfalls ). Then we went to Mammoth Springs and crossed into Montana for dinner (the first time in the state for 3 of us). More elk, some buffalo, a moose and an adorable baby bear sighted throughout the day.

Day Six: This day began with a trail on horseback (my first time on a horse ) and a visit to Jenny Lake where Captain's dad worked as a cowboy during his younger years. A long hike took us to what is aptly named "Hidden Falls" which was without a doubt my favorite part of the trip. This waterfall was smaller than Yellowstone falls, but you could get up close enough to feel the spray on your face. LOVE LOVE LOVE They had to drag me away from it!! This evening concluded with a wagon ride to a cook out cowboy style, hosted by the most adorable old couple ever!!

Day Seven: This was the fourth of July and began with the kids and I going White Water Rafting (a close #2 on the fav list). We toured Jackson Hole and then headed over the Wilson pass to Idaho, another first for the same 3. Then we watched fireworks over the mountains to conclude our amazing time in Wyoming.

Day Eight: We headed down through Nebraska, staying at the Cabela's in Sidney, NE.

Day Nine: We all got up bright and early, ready to get home. A great trip with great people!!

Other highlights:
-A billion signs for Wall Drug all across SD
-Our nephew convincing a couple of cowboys and Captain to do the hokey pokey!!
-Guys commenting on Niece's hotness, not realizing we were with her, lol.
-Forging through rivers on horseback
-Purple Mountain's Majesty
-Running the heater in the camper over July 4th weekend
-Huckleberries!!!!
-Nephew being the snake whisperer
-The girls whooping the guys at cards several nights in a row
-The AMAZING food, never ate a bad meal the entire trip!!

So many great memories were made on this trip!!

From the depths of despair

So, I know you've all heard by now that Grandma McCartie passed away this week. As I sit here the night before the service, I have so much on my mind, I thought I'd share some of it.

- My mother is quite possibly the most amazing woman in the world. I did something very difficult this week, and she was right there by my side, helping me through every second. I hope that someday I can be half the mother that she is!

- My husband is in constant pain from his back, but I have never seen him in this kind of pain, and I hope I never have to see it again.

- When you wait a week for a phone call to say someone has passed, it's still not any easier when the call comes.

- It is so surreal to go about daily business, now. It's like normal, and yet everything has changed.

- I will be by my husband's side every moment I am able, to help him through this time. It appalls me that a husband would even consider not being there for a MIL's service to support his wife, it seems selfish.

- On that note, I know that everyone deals with grief differently, but I can't help but think it poor form to pretend nothing happened. If you're not taking it badly, at least let up on those that may be struggling. People deal with death in different ways, especially younger people.

- More positively, it warms my heart to see a family that's not super close come together in a time of loss. G'ma was no doubt the glue, but these three grandkids have really stuck together to be there for each other and their mom. It's nice to see.

- It's nice to know that my husband and I each have a best friend we can count on in times like these.

- My parents should never be allowed to go to a Nascar race again. Last time they went, my grandma Davis passed the week before, and this time G'ma Mc passed the week before. My conclusion? Nascar is the cause of all grief and misery.

I've talked enough for now. Hope no one is offended by my revelations.

Valentine El Salvador

So, my hubby and I decided to do Valentine's Day early this year. For anyone who doesn't know, we have a little tradition that we go to a restaurant we've never been to before for every Valentine's day.

This year I found a little place in Ottumwa that serves authentic cuisine from El Salvador. My husband spent several months in El Salvador while he was in the military. They were providing relief from hurricane Mitch. So I thought this would be a good place to do our Valentine's Day.

We had a little trouble finding the place, they have apparently changed their name since google was last there, but we eventually got there. It's Restaurant La Bendicion or Juanita's, we're not sure which is the official name. Anyway, it's a tiny little place with about 6 tables and a long counter. We were the only customers, and were a little perplexed by the fact that no one in the place spoke English at all. We used the little spanish we know to get menu's and place our order.

Captain enjoyed the atmosphere which was many posters about El Salvador and a large map. The food came, there was a lot of it. It was close to what I would consider typical mexican fair, but the options were fairly limited. I had stuffed pepper and Capt had tenderized meat (the actual name of the dish ).
The refried beans were cooked differently and I enjoyed them a lot. The pepper was not a bell pepper (I should have considered that a possibility, but I didn't) so was a little to hot for me. It was decent, a little greasy, but overall an okay dinner.

We watched as several people came in to pick up orders, all looking at us in wonderment. We suspect it's the first time they've seen white people eating there. I actually began to enjoy the look of surprise and confusion that hit the people's faces as they saw us.

Anyway, it was alright, we probably won't be making a trip back to Ottumwa to go there again, but it was a neat experience anyway. Then we headed to the theater to watch Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief. A very good movie, I would recommend, we both enjoyed it alot. We shared a bag of Reese's Pieces and a large Diet Coke (hooray for holiday no calorie rules )

So that was our Valentine's Day in a nutshell. It was not exceptionally romantic, but we had a good time none the less, and created a memory. In my opinion, a much better after effect than dead flowers or candy wrappers.

So another year begins. It is this weekend that I sit and reflect over all that has happened this year.

2009
January saw our first black president take office. A proud day for tolerance, which is my creed. Also Captain and I made a new year’s resolution of “less talk, more action.” I kept writing for the IPAN newsletter. February brought a surprise party for my brother and a strange obsession with making my own cheese. This was a total homemade month as we made our own noodles, bread, cheese & bologna/summer sausage.

March brought my 29th birthday and a great trip to Florida for my cousin T's wedding where I was the officiate. It was wonderful to see the FL gang again, I miss them a lot. I also found time to teach myself to knit this month, as well as begin my diet regimen. April marked our 7th wedding anniversary. So far I think we're surviving the 7 year itch just fine. This is also when we finally took our little niece to Build-A-Bear (our xmas present to her). A fun day spent with just the three of us.

May saw my diet finally drop me below the 200 mark. It also marked the official opening of my business, EcoSage Solutions. June was full of camping, book clubs, D&D and many outside activities. July brought Capt's 31st birthday which was spent camping. That has become a tradition for 5 years now.

August came a big change for our family. Captain got his new job working for the Mahaska County Career Academy teaching college material to high schoolers. He absolutely loves it. September was the performance of the only OCT show I participated in this year. I’m so glad I did, it was one I’ll never forget (even if I wanted too ;D) after all, Trav and Case in drag burns itself into the memory.

November saw another big change for us, I started school again. This time to get a Master’s in Psychology. I also took on and won NANOWRIMO, see recent blog entries for explanation. December came and went in a flash, like always. We had our annual shopping day with Dad and a fun Yule celebration with friends.

This year was full of ups and downs for us, so I chose to highlight the goods. Obviously the family we planned is still in the planning stages. I lost 35 lbs. for the year. I’m sure I’ve left a few things out, but this is what I thought of while sitting here.

Thanks to all who have been a part of my life, here’s hoping for a great 2010!!

I'm Ba..ack

Did you miss me?

If you read my post below, then you know that I spent the last 24 days attempting to write a 50,000 word novel. So do you think I got it done?

Well I did!!! Can you believe it? It's an amazing feel to accomplish something that seemed so insurmountable in the beginning.

I'm busy celebrating right now, but I will be back soon to tell you all the amazing things I learned during this month.

A special thanks to my friend who suggested I do this with her (she got it done too, btw). I am SOOOOOO glad I did this.

Taking a Break

Well, I'm announcing that I will be taking a break from the stream in November. Rest assured that it is for good reason.

I am participating (with a few adventurous friends) in a contest called NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. The idea is to write an entire novel (50,000 words) during the month of November.

Needless to say, I will be focusing on writing in the month of November, just not blogging. I might stop by for a quick update, but no promises.

I'm really excited to be participating in this contest, and will be sure to come back in December and let you all know how it goes!!