Year of the Black Snake

The Chinese New Year celebrations begin today.  2013 is the year of the black snake.

The influence of water continues this year, and the snake brings steady progress with focus and discipline. Known as the "little dragon" the snake is enigmatic, introspective, and intuitive.

For the first time, my husband and I will be celebrating the Chinese New Year together.  We have started observing traditions from both of our belief systems this year.  I find these observances help me to bring my spiritual side forward, even if only for a few moments.

We are going to make traditional style dumplings, which is said to bring prosperity through the new year.  We have already observed the tradition of cleaning house beforehand by tidying up our place to clean out the old year and welcome in the new.  We will discuss the many meanings of the year of the black snake over our dumpling dinner (and maybe add some wonton soup and fish).  Here is a compilation of what I have found so far.

The 2012 water dragon makes way for the 2013 water snake.  The snake is akin to a fire sign in traditional astrology.  This puts it at odds with the water influence of this year, but the Taoist knows that these opposites are complimentary rather than contradictory.  The two elemental influences will balance each other nicely ensuring the year will be full of both highs and lows.  

The snake is calm, inward directed and even shy.  It never attacks unprovoked.  Because snake is the 6th sign of the Chinese Zodiac, it is considered to be yin in nature.  This is generally shown by portraying the snake as a female, the gender most associated with yin.  The snake is a financial wizard, and brings strong business and financial influences for the year.

Wishing you all the best for the year of the black snake!

The elusive inner peace

Inner Peace
Could there be a more lofty goal?  Could there be a more worthwhile one?

A true cultivator of the Tao has unparallelled inner peace.  Today I have been contemplating what it will take for me to obtain inner peace.  Obviously this is a long and intensive process, as I'm not feeling very peaceful at the moment.  I think striving for this kind of peace during turbulent times in my life is quite valuable.  If I can keep some semblance of it now, then I can have confidence that I can find inner peace any time in my life.

Here are the steps I'm currently working on:

~ Embrace Change
     It is a very difficult thing to do, as we humans are hard wired to resist change.  Remaining flexible (flowing like a river) allows inner peace to flourish because the struggle to resist change is let go.

~ Detach from Outcomes
    Not being attached to outcomes is something the Tao talks of often.  My actions should come from within, not based on the potential outcomes I see.  I should be motivated by simplicity, compassion, and humility in all that I do.  By letting go of perceived "correct reactions" to my actions, I can keep inner peace regardless of the outcome of any situation.

~ See Truth
     This is perhaps the one that I struggle with the most.  I recently asked a Taoist master how I could work on my confidence.  He answered simply, "See the authentic truth."  This means looking at myself in a truly honest and objective manner.  I tend to be quite hard on myself in all aspects, boarding on self-loathing.  My husband often points out that I think everyone is better than me, even people I've never met.  If I look at myself from an authentic truth, however, I know that I am no more or less worthy of anything than someone else is.  Seeing truth erases judgements and allows me to accept everyone and everything as it is, even myself. 

I decided that these three things will be the first steps of my thousand mile journey to inner peace.

Contemplations

I recently got started attending temple again, and boy am I glad.  It seems that I get pulled away from my path more easily than I would like to admit.  I've been going through some tough times, and sometimes it's easier to feel sorry for myself instead of work through it.  Undoubtedly, every time I log into temple (its a physical group in California that also broadcasts online) the topic is something that hits home. 

Here are a few things that have really gotten me thinking recently. 

The yin/yang partner of love is not hate, but fear.
This is something that really speaks to me, as someone who has battled anxiety for some time, fear is a very real emotion that is felt every day.  The point was made that hate almost always comes from fear in some way, which I find mostly true as well.  It really got me thinking because if I am fearing something, I am doing the opposite of loving it.  I try to walk a path of love, so this is jarring, thinking that I am perpetuating the opposite.

The Tao Te Ching can be interpreted in a personal manner.
On the surface, this is something I already knew, but hadn't thought of in this specific context.  They took the first verse of the Tao Te Ching and applied it directly to you as an individual.  This is possible because the book is about the Tao, and the Tao is part of all of us, therefore each statement is about us.  Pretty deep, I know, so it got me thinking.

You are responsible for everything that happens to you.
This one is really hard for me to swallow, mainly because of the tough times I am experiencing with starting a family.  I feel so incredibly helpless in this area, it seems preposterous to say I am responsible for what is happening to me.  They explained that it is not so much that I am always in control, because some things are out of my control.  The thing I can control is my reaction to what happens, therefore I am responsible for that.

So these are the things I'm thinking about at the moment.  Feeling very contemplative. 

End of Year 2012

Typically at the end of the year I do a small breakdown of the goings on and whatnots that occurred in my life for the last 12 months.  This year, I'd like to do something a little different, as there isn't much to report in the personal life.  I'll do a  quick summary paragraph and then move on to a tribute to two amazing people that I lost this year.

I graduated with a Master's Degree last December and have now spent an entire year looking for a way to make it earn me money.  Turning out not to be the best investment.  We have gotten nowhere on starting a family, but did start costly and invasive treatments in June.  My brother married the love of his life in September, and I finally got to be in a wedding other than my own.  I was also put in charge of the bridal shower which I drafted much needed help from friends, as I was clueless. 

The biggest change in my life this year involves losing my last remaining grandparents.  At the beginning of the year, I lost my Grandma H, who was my mother's mother.   Then a few months back, I lost my Grandpa D who was my dad's father.  I'd like to tell you about these two amazing people.

Grandma H was not your typical Grandma.  She was a party animal!  She'd drink any of her grand kids under the table if given the chance.  I spent 1 week of every summer staying with her and my little cousin.  We always had a blast going shopping at Younkers and hanging at the Moose.  Grandma had a heart of gold, and it always amazed me how people I'd never met would come up to me and tell me how wonderful she was.  It just goes to show how she was able to have an impact on so many people.  She was outgoing and fun, but not afraid to threaten to kick your ass either.  She loved us grandkids, we never had any doubt.  She succumbed to Alzheimer's in the last decade of her life, which was hard to watch, but she always kept her kind and compassionate demeanor.  I miss her terribly!

Grandpa D was a no nonsense kind of guy.  He expected the best of his kids, and was only marginally more lenient with us grandkids.  No one worked harder than my grandpa, of that I have no doubt.  He built up multiple businesses, and even took playing board games to a whole new level by making his own boards and pieces like Trionimos out of counter top (which I have to this day).  He built decks and ramps and garages, you name it, he could build it, roof it, or side it.  He was competitive and took playing games seriously.  Be it pingpong, shuffleboard, Rummikub, or Skip-Bo, if you won the game, you won it fair and square because he wasn't going to let you win.  While his body failed him, his mind stayed sharp until close to the end.  He was obsessed with coming to see my new house, and loved hearing stories of home improvement projects like our new roof.  I miss his expert advice.

So 2012 wasn't the best year for me, but it did have some up moments.  I'm hoping and praying for more up moments in 2013, since there will be a 2013.

Peace and love to you all.

Happy Holidays

Well here I am. It's Christmas Day and we've made it through another year of celebrations, family gatherings, and doomsday predictions.
First of all: Happy Yule, Happy Winter Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, and Merry Christmas to all who celebrate any or all of it.

A short rant:
Something drives me a little crazy this time of year. I try to be a tolerant person, and let anyone do whatever they feel is right for them, after all I prefer for others to do the same for me. But the last few years there has been a thing people keep going on about called the "War on Christmas".

It seems that Christians are up in arms about people switching their greeting to Happy Holidays rather than Merry Christmas and they have interpreted this as an act of war. It baffles me that anyone could say that including more people in your good wishes is equal to the violent act of war. Tolerance is a wonderful and peaceful thing in my book. Besides this illogical conclusion, everywhere I went people said Merry Christmas to me, so if it is a war, the other side is losing.
End of rant.

Enough of that. I really enjoyed this holiday season and I'd like to share why I think that is. For the first time this year, I erased all expectations before any of the holiday celebrations. It could have been a tough year since I lost two grandparents this year and that drastically changed how we celebrated the day, not to mention unpleasant medical procedures happening between festivities. I still treasure the traditions that I grew up with and will always have those wonderful memories, but I opted to "go with the flow" for how things would go this year. I didn't expect certain reactions to gifts, I didn't plan in my head how things had to be in order to be perfect. Instead, I made it my mission to try and make everyone who was around me as joyful as possible, and it worked pretty well.

Fun Christmas Story:
I was reading How the Grinch Stole Christmas! by Dr. Seuss to my niece and nephews (13, 8, 7, and 5), they gathered around and listened really well. It was a wonderful feeling to have them piled around me clambering to get a look at the pictures in the book. I was reaching the end of the story and got to the part where the Grinch's heart grew 3 sizes that day. I read the line:

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."

"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"

As soon as I finished, my 5 year old nephew looked at me with his hand thoughtfully placed on his chin and said, "I can see that." I smile just thinking about it, what a wonderful moment to experience, a child thinking about how much more Christmas means to him than presents.  Priceless!  For our family Christmas means love, giving, and sharing memories.

Happy Holidays everyone, however you celebrate, I wish you joy and peace!

Revisiting an Old Friend

So it is December now, and another NanoWrimo is behind me. As with every other year I've done it, I am sick to death of my winning novel from this year. It's a pattern I tend to have. While I am working on something, it seems like total poo to me. But then, once I've given it a break, and not even thought about it for awhile, I can revisit and be more objective. Usually I'm quite surprised at how well I like the story at this later point. In that spirit, I decided to shelve my young adult fantasy novel from this year and revisit the title I won with last year. It's called Journey to the Mysts, and has distinct Taoist inspirations. At this time last year, I was newly invigorated by some Taoist authors I had found, and was heavy into the philosophy. Other things have stolen my attention from such spiritual pursuits, although my faith is strong as ever. As I popped open the document and began to read it, I was touched. Not so much by the writing itself, but by the honesty. This book is about my journey, and one I believe most modern followers of the way can relate to, assuming they have a mostly Western upbringing like myself. I'm not claiming to have written the next great Taoist work, far from it, but I am pleased that like many times before, I find myself enjoying the fruit of my labor. No one else has read this story so far, so I have no one's perspective but my own. And perhaps it will remain that way, but how great is it for me to be able to revisit my own journey and my own revelations. I'm proud of the philosophy I managed to weave into a somewhat romance heavy (though not a romance novel by any means) book. I find my words and interpretations relevant and even eloquent at times. It amazes me that I wrote these words, and sends me back to the spiritual way of thinking that I lost somehow over the last year. I hope as I continue to read through the book, I'm still as inspired, because if I remember correctly, I did not finish the novel last November. I reached the word goal of 50,000 and stopped. I had good reason, mind you, because I was also working on my Master's Thesis at the time. I really hope that reading through it now will inspire me to at least bring the story to a close and finish the journey for my characters.

NanoWrimo 2012

It is once again time for National Novel Writing Month where I will attempt to write an entire novel (of 50,000+ words) in the month of November.

I have accomplished this task 3 times in the past, and the result of the first two can be found for purchase at amazon.com or through any ereader.  (Liberty Springs & Shades of Magic).

Wish me luck on this now traditional crazy adventure.

The great chicken experiment

I have wanted to have chickens for a while now.  I knew when we moved out to the country that it was a much bigger possibility.  Captain came around to the idea recently and we decided to buy some chicks in the spring and give it a go.

We told my wonderful niece about our plans, as she has previously raised chickens she is a go to gal for info about it.

Well, yesterday, she texted first thing in the morning because she saw an ad in the paper for year old red laying hens, for only $1 a piece.  Typically, hens of this age cost way more than this, or so we are told.  We consulted several people and decided the value was too great to pass up.  So boom, we now have a small flock of laying hens.

Captain called up his first mate and they got to work building an amazing tractor coop that allows the chickens to constantly have fresh ground to peck at and a super comfy place to live.

A similar sized pre-made bought coop could easy cost over a thousand dollars, and they spent only a fraction of that.  They got it together last night well enough to keep the hens safe.

The next morning, they removed the hens to a small fenced area to work on the coop some more, adding nesting boxes and hinged panels for easy access to get the eggs.  The birds loved their new home so much they kept jumping over the fence and up onto the coop.  Finally the guys just let those determined ones stay inside while they worked.

We were told that because of the stress of relocation, we shouldn't expect any eggs for the first few days.  Imagine our surprise when there were 4 eggs waiting for us in the morning, and 3 more throughout the day!  We are SO excited.  You just can't beat farm fresh eggs.

So far, this adventure is turning into a crazy whirlwind success story!

Roof Quandry

The workers arrived at 7:30 AM today to begin installing our new roof.  I would prefer they let me sleep a little longer, but for me, the inconvenience is worth finally having that new roof on the house.  The cats don't agree, however.  The large one hides in a corner behind the couch, using a low crawl if she has to emerge for food or drink.  The small white one is unnerved as well, which is odd because nothing usually phases her.  She sticks to me like glue all day long.

Choosing the roof was an interesting experience.  They have several styles and colors to choose from, I began to agonize almost at once.  This is a VERY permanent fixture, and far to expensive to replace if I don't like the color, so choosing the right one is vital.  I enlist my usual techniques which involves photographing the roof and applying different colors in photoshop until I'm completely overwhelmed.

As I'm sitting there, I wonder how anyone could makes such a decision easily.  Then, as I'm driving along in the car, I begin to notice the roof of every house I pass.  Many houses in Fremont now have metal roofs (like I soon will), and I had no idea.  How could I have missed this new trend?  I thought my husband was nuts when he first proposed it.

Well for starters, the hailstorm a few months back ensured new roofs for most of the town.  But then, the answer is obvious.  No one looks at your roof.  Sitting here now, I could not tell you the color of my parent's roof, and that's the house I grew up in.  Not a single roof comes to mind.  And slowly the agonizing wanes, even if the color isn't perfect, it isn't likely to matter much anyway, because no one pays attention to your roof.

A sigh of relief.

PS: Why do I have an instinct that the plural of roof is rooves?  Spellcheck assures me otherwise.  :P

Weston A. Price

One of my latest obsessions has been finding the right view on food.  I sympathize with vegetarians, marvel at vegans, and end up right back with the carnivores I started with.  I get a little frustrated with some Taoist groups I attend, because even if they claim not to push vegetarianism, they spend so much time talking about it, it gets pretty old pretty fast.  Top this off with the fact that no matter what argument I've read (and I've read a lot), I'm just not convinced.

Enter into the picture the Weston A. Price foundation.  They have some pretty radical views on things, but then again, some of the views of Western medicine are pretty radical in my opinion, too.  From what I gather, WAP has a view that cows should eat grass (I wholeheartedly agree) and that we should eat butter.  Among other things, they have a different view on saturated fats, feeling they are a vital part of a healthy diet.  They also advocate making raw milk available, something I have long felt to be a good idea.

I am only beginning to explore what they say, but it all makes sense to me so far (similar to when I came across Taoism).  I saw there is a chapter in my hometown, but a quick email resulted in no response.  It's a shame, because I'd love to meet some people who practice this way of life and talk to them about it.  Perhaps I'll keep my eye out for signs of WAP at the local farmer's market.