Change Abounds

A reader pointed out to me that the Tao is change.  How incredibly true.  A familiar quote states something along the lines of: The only thing that never changes, is that everything changes.

Well, there are many changes occurring in our household at the moment.

Change #1
My dear husband is home for the summer.  He is a teacher and will not have to return to work for 3 months.  This means drastic changes for this stay-at-home mom.  A little more help and a lot more company just to start.  He has a long list of things he'd like to accomplish this summer, but having another person here makes me feel a lot less alone.  He is even making it a point to give me some time to myself each day to use as I please.  I have amazing plans for this time: cleaning (I know exciting, but so many things have been put off), sewing, writing, working some odd jobs, reading books, doing Tai Chi, meditating, and maybe even playing some mindless games.  We'll see how much of this actually happens, but I look forward to giving it a try.

Change #2
We made the controversial decision to take our little one to a chiropractor.  I had never heard of such a thing, and the initial idea made me uneasy.  Turns out is not as uncommon as I once thought.  Once I began talking to people, I found several people I know who did the same.  We carefully choose a practice that specializes in pediatrics and made an appointment.  I have to say, from the first visit, our boy changed dramatically.  She found that he was "out" in three separate places.  Even that night, we noticed how much more comfortable our little man seemed.  After several visits, he is finally aligned normally, and his demeanor is changed dramatically.  He spends much more time happy, he puts himself to sleep at night, and sleeps for longer periods on a regular basis.  Can I hear a hallelujah chorus?

Change #3
A distant relative of mine just lost their child to cancer.  She was only one and half years old.  I didn't know her personally, but followed her and her family's struggle closely on facebook.  Words cannot describe the heartache they must be feeling right now.  My own heart bleeds for their loss.  It has given me a pretty big smack over the head though.  I have had a rough first 7 months with my son, and I won't apologize for saying it's been hard.  But the difficulty of that journey has paled in comparison to this family's reality.  I'm not normally one to compare my difficulty with others, but I can't help it this time, and I think it's an okay thing.  I can cherish every moment with my son, even the difficult ones, because he his here and healthy, and I should never stop being grateful for that.


So with all these changes, I find myself looking to the Tao again.  Even just taking time to think about it makes me feel whole again, like myself.  For some time, the Tao has helped me to deal with hardship, and even come to terms with the unthinkable.

It is time for that cycle to begin again.

A Quick Emergence

I'm not sure whether to apologize for my absence, or simply accept that it is what it is and people can guess why I've been preoccupied.

I gave birth to my first child on November 2nd of last year.

My new found status of mother has not been an easy one.  I cannot even begin to explain the world I've been living in for the last 6 months.  But I can say that the Tao has been all but forgotten.  More to the point, the person I was before has also been forgotten.

Along with the normal challenges of caring for a newborn, I have had numerous other obstacles thrown in my path such as jaundice, colic and a high needs baby.

I love my son beyond measure, but I am in desperate need of finding myself again.  I need the position of mother to be one of the things that describes me, not the thing that defines me.  It will be a struggle, for sure, but my happiness and sanity requires it.

So here's to a new challenge for this blog.  Writing is something I've always found cathartic, so I am going to try my best to venture back here.  I hope no one will mind that my posts will likely be different, because I am different.

But my journey continues...