The Four Agreements

Sometimes the Universe puts things in your path just when you need them. I was at the library yesterday and came across an unlikely book called The Four Agreements: A Toltec Wisdom Book by Don Miguel Ruiz. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, so I didn't think much as I pulled this from the shelf, but then on the back of the book was a quote from one of my personal inspirations Dr. Wayne Dyer, so I immediately gave the book more attention.

I have only begun reading it, but it's already had an effect on me. I'd like to share the four agreements with you.

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinion and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.

I will be sure write again once I have finished this fascinating book.

In my own words

I felt inspired after reading some poetry, so I thought I'd dabble in a writing style I haven't visited since high school. I might lengthen it later one, I'm not sure.

My Circle

I cast my circle around me, to protect me, to fuel me.
I feel the energy building, from everywhere I see.
I close my eyes to better feel the sensation.
My body shakes with pure exhilaration.
Never knowing this bliss, would truly be a curse.
I am one with the energy, with nature, with the universe.

The Dyad Moon

Last night my pagan friends and I went out to celebrate the full moon. We had been doing this every month for a while, but we missed the last couple, so it was good to be back.

The June full moon is the Dyad Moon, which is all about pairs and duality. Naturally as a Taoist, duality is central to my beliefs. It is in fact the main reason that I became one. I decided to share the following poem from Chuang Tzu with my friends, to contemplate during the thunderstorm. This is only the first verse.

Great and Small

When we look at things in the light of the Tao

Nothing is best, Nothing is worst

Each thing, seen in it's own light, stands out in its own way.

It can seem to be "better" than what is compared with it on its own terms.

But seen in terms of the whole, No one thing stands out as "better."

If you measure differences

What is greater than something else is “great”

Therefore there is nothing that is not “great”

What is smaller than something else is “small”

Therefore there is nothing that is not “small”

So the whole cosmos is a grain of rice,

And the tip of a hair is as big as a mountain-

Such is the relative view.

Quote - Rengetsu

We accept the graceful falling

Of mountain cherry blossoms,

But it is much harder for us

To fall away from our own

Attachment to the world.

- Rengetsu

Henry Miller quote

"If there is to be any peace, it will come through being, not having." - Henry Miller

I find this quote incredibly thought provoking. I've observed that I and others in my life are often focused on the things we would like to have, and seem to get to a deluded point that having that thing will make us happy, and even further, that we can't be happy without it.

This simple quote reminds me that only I can make me happy, not things, not even other people, only me. And if given the choice, why would I choose to be unhappy? Of course outside influences cannot always be avoided. But I think if I at least acknowledge that possessing certain objects has no real bearing on my happiness, I will find myself closer to peace.

The Tao takes on Murphy

OK, so I'm guessing you are all familiar with Murphy's Law which states "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."

I was raised with this philosophy, as were many of the people I know. It is pretty common to hear people using Murphy's Law as a reason to do or not do something.

Taoist thought often says the exact opposite. You should always believe the best of yourself and others. Keep positive thoughts, always kind and loving even in the face of adversity. Always know that the universe is unfolding as it should, and trust that everything happens for a reason.

Since becoming a Taoist, I have worked very hard to deprogram my Murphy's Law training, and it's been hard. But the more I am able to undo, the happier I am. Now I can look at it, and think, wow, how unhappy is the person who always assumes things will go wrong. Even if they're right, there is something to be said for hope.

To me, it all comes down to the old adage, "whether you think you can or can't, you're right."

It's all about the thoughts, and living in Murphy's Law world, people become jaded and hopeless, which is something I never want to be.

Wisdom can come from anywhere

I was just watching something on TV when I heard that Kevin Costner counseled a friend with the following advice,

"One episode of a person's life, does not define who they are."

Now I don't know if that is his originally, but I found it quite profound for a Hollywood actor.

How to build a bear, our neice's style

So today was our trip to Des Moines, taking Little Miss (our 3 year old niece) to Build-A-Bear for her present. She was looking forward to it so much that she called me last night to talk about it.

I have to admit that Capt & I were looking forward to it also. We used to spend a lot of time with her, and miss that now that I don't babysit. I went and got her from daycare today, first wrong directions led me to a room where I got to say hello to a friend's little boy, then in the right room, she popped up from her nap ready to go.

We came back to my house to pick up Captain, managed to fit in a rousing game of go-fish with the cards she got me for my b-day. Then we were off. She was quite the chatter box the whole way there. I could tell she was relishing having the sole attention of two adults. We also sang her version of Row Row Row Your Boat and If your happy and you know it. Once there, she charged her way through the mall towards the store. It was completely empty when we got there, so she got much personal attention.

We began by picking out the bear itself. She debated between a couple of bunnies and a frog. Finally ended up with a pink bear with flowers all over it. We said OK, then it was time to choose a sound the bear could make. She tested all the buttons and fell in love with the monkey sound. I told her there was a pink monkey over there, but she wanted the bear to make the monkey noise. O...K... It's her bear, so there you go.

We stuffed the bear, she went through the little heart routine they do, and she spent a good ten minutes at the "washing" station that lets them brush the bear and shoot air on it. Time to find clothes. The first thing any cool bear needs is a pair of great shades just ask Little Miss. She then informed us that her bear was a boy, and needed boy clothes. O...K... A pink bear covered in flowers, makes monkey noises and is a boy. Of course.

Then she found a white skirt she really liked. We had to draw the line at making the pink bear in a skirt a boy, so I told her it would have to be a girl then. She decided that it would be worth it, so the bear became a girl.

A cute sequined top, some shoes and of course panties (Little Miss looked scandalized by the idea of her not having any ) and our bear was done. She decided to name the bear Flower, and her new best friend was born. They put her in the little cardboard house they give you, but not before Little Miss gave her a kiss goodbye . How cute.

We managed to drag Captain out of Scheels, bought some pink fudge, stopped and ate, then she slept the whole way home. A really fun day with a really fun little girl.

Quote - Lao Tzu

In the world of knowledge, Every day something new is added.

In pursuit of the Tao, Every day something new is let go.

- Lao Tzu

Chuang-Tzu is right

The operations of heaven and earth proceed with the most admirable order, yet they never speak. The four seasons observe clear laws, but they do not discuss them. All of nature is regulated by exact principles, but it never explains them. Thus the perfect man does nothing...he merely contemplates the universe.
-Chuang-Tzu

This seems to be a way of saying that the universe has a plan for us, and does not owe us the explaination of what that is. We should trust that everything is as it should be, which is harder than it sounds.