Thursday, November 24, 2011

Another Year, Another Win

It's official, I have hit the lovely 50K words and won NanoWrimo.  It feels great, but something happened this time that never has before.  Not only did I finish on the 19th (wow!)  but I found myself going long.  The story is not over, and the end is nowhere in sight at 50k.  I guess I finally found a subject matter that inspires me to go on and on.  I found myself feeling very spiritual as I was writing about my main character who was being taught the principles of the way.  How amazing, to combine my writing with spirituality seems like an automatic win for me.  I'm not sure how marketable this book will be, but I don't care because it helped me get to a really good place.

The challenge of writing a thesis and a novel in the same month helped me feel like I can do anything.  I hope I can maintain this positive feeling, and staying with the Tao, I know is the way. 

Other happenings include: finally getting moved in enough to park both vehicles in the garage, hosting turkey day at my new house, and sipping tea by my working fireplace.  Pretty content right now.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

November Has Come

It's that time of year again.  Time for National Novel Writing Month where authors scramble to write 50,000 words in 30 days.  I am participating again this year, even though I am also working on writing a thesis for my Masters degree (Raving, I am, stark raving mad!!)  What makes this year different is that this year I decided to do Taoist theme to the book (see the revelation post below).  I love the idea of exploring my own spirituality while my character explores hers.

I decided to not make the references blatant, meaning that nowhere in the book will it talk about the Tao.  Instead, the sages in my book will refer to it as the Myst.  I do this for a few reasons. 
1. It gives me more room for fantasy aspects I would like to add in.
2. My personal interpretation of the greatest book ever written will not be called into question
3. I feel like it makes the concept more accessible to the massess.

Wish me luck!!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Another Year of NanoWrimo

As many of you will recall, for the last two years I have participated in National Novel Writing Month.  I'm thrilled to have won both years, and of course find myself wishing to participate again this year.

I am also currently working on my Master's Thesis in a capstone course with Capella University.  This involves a lot of writing all by itself, so do I really want to add the challenge of writing 50,000 words in a single month on top of that?  I found myself floundering in my answer to that question.  Then when I was talking to a friend who was considering Nanowrimo this year, I told them the thing I tell everyone.

"Why not try?  Worse case scenario, you don't win, but will have a decent start on a novel.  Is that really losing?"

My own words rang true in my head, and I realized I needed to take my own sage advice, and at least try.

So I began thinking of ways to simplify the writing process.  The first idea: write a sequel to one of the other novels I have written, this way the prep work is done for me.  The first, Shades of Magic, is currently available on Amazon and Kindle, and I have had requests for a sequel to it.  The other, Liberty Springs, is still in the editing process, but has content I absolutely love and a really unique concept.

I began pondering which sequel to do, settled on Liberty Springs and began brainstorming ideas for the new book.  I stalled.  Hard.  Nothing inspired me at all, I just wasn't feeling it.  I hopped to Shades of Magic for a moment, but quickly discarded it as well.  Am I doomed to not be inspired for Nano?

Last night, inspiration came in the form of the Tao.  I found myself perusing the Tao Te Ching for inspiration (a common habit of mine) and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

What if I write about Taoism?  I love learning about new things when I read a fiction story, so why not introduce someone to the concepts of Taoism.  I don't want to write a religious book, though.  So what if I call the Tao something else?  What if I introduce the lessons taught in the Tao Te Ching through storytelling?  The juices are flowing now!!

Thank you Tao :D

Sunday, October 2, 2011

An Angry Taoist?

Recent events found me and some close friends dealing with a large amount of anger.  After an interchange with some co-worker type people, we found ourselves seething.  It was bad enough that even after we parted ways, the anger was enough to spur further texting and even ill feelings the next day as we returned to our tasks.

My friend (non-Taoist mind you) asked me, what would Lao Tzu do?

What a terrific question.  I had no idea.  I decided to peruse my pocket Tao Te Ching, and some of my goto websites for Taoist info about the subject.

The verse that stood out to me the most was 37:
"The way takes no action, but leaves nothing undone.
  When you accept this the world will flourish, in harmony with nature.
Natures does not possess desire; Without desire, the heart becomes quiet; In this manner the whole world is made tranquil."

Another is a part of 49:
"A sage is good to those who are good; He is also good to those who are not good.  Thereby, he is good."

There is also an abundance of statements about cultivating harmony and the importance of inaction.  It says that compassion is the finest weapon and best defense used in an altercation. 

Anger is a force that feeds upon itself.  In the example situation, the others were angry because they were inconvenienced (not intentionally) by our actions.  They lacked compassion in their words when explaining it to us.  Our anger (At least my own) came from feeling a lack of gratitude.  The others had not completed their work well, yet criticized the hard work we had put in. 

I now realize that my anger came from a place of ego.  I took the anger that was thrown at me and absorbed it.  That anger acted like poison in my system.  I found myself replaying the scene again and again, anger rising each time.  This anger was merely from memories though, not from the actions themselves.  My feeling of anger was a way to keep that injustice alive.  This is where inaction becomes key.  I should have made my feelings known in a kind and compassionate manner, and then simply accepted the situation as it is and moved on with my night.

I'm not done exploring this concept, as I feel it is an important one.  But I feel better knowing how I may be able to handle that situation in the future.

So, what would Lao Tzu do?  I think he would be able to kindly take the criticism and then let it go.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Don't Get Your Hopes Up

There's a common saying around my house in the last two plus years.  "Don't Get Your Hopes Up." 

When you are trying to do something that proves quite difficult and unlikely, it's something that we will likely all here from someone.  Well, I'm tired of not getting my hopes up.  There, I said it.  I'll get my hopes up if I want to.  This scenario can go one of two ways:

First way:
Take every action to achieve goal, believing that this time it just might work.
If it doesn't work, a period of feeling crushed may ensue.

Second way: 
Take actions to achieve goal while not really believing it could work.  Feel defeated and like actions are pointless.  Be crushed when it doesn't work, even though you didn't think it would.

There may be other options for different scenarios, but these are the two I'm choosing between right now.  And I think I'll take the first way.  I'd rather have days of hope, because hope makes me feel good.  It improves my overall attitude and is a bright spot in an otherwise murky experience.  I tried a few rounds of the second, and it was almost scary how dark the place I got to was.  Well, that's not for me.

Sorry Captain, I'm gonna get my hopes up, and if it doesn't work, I'm probably gonna cry.  Because I feel, and believe it or not, feelings are good.  But then I'll pick myself up and find new hope for next time.  And I'll be a much happier person for it.

As my mother's favorite song says:
Gotta Do It My Way.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

The end result

Well, it's Sunday, the day after the end of my fast.  I lasted 38 hours.  I might have been able to go longer, but convenience won out because I was swamped with schoolwork for the day.

I had less than 1/4 of a honeydew melon, and had to stop.  I felt a little off still yesterday, and a little weak.  I had a lot of trouble going to sleep both Friday and Saturday, so I'm hoping that won't last too much longer.

But the good news is, today my digestive tract feels better than it has in forever.  My stomach seems to have shrunk, I'm full rather easily (great news for my waistline).  But best of all, my attitude has improved ten fold.  I feel rejuvenated in a really core way.

For those that are interested, I dropped 4.5 lbs between the start and end of the fast.  Keep in mind that it will most likely all return (water weight and such) but it's a fun way to keep at it, watching the number keep going down.  I've already gained back half, but maybe I can slow down the rest with some smart choices.

Bottom line is this, I am SO glad I chose to do this fast.  I learned a lot about myself (boredom eater!) and helped my body fix itself rather than try to medicate my way to health.  My mental health has benefited as well, it really got me out of the funk I've been in and gave me some important perspective.

So yes, Whit, it's been a fruitful experience!!

**Disclaimer**
I am in no way suggesting that others partake in fasting, please consult your physician and yada yada, just don't blame me if bad things happen to you, it's not my fault.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

24 hours in

So here I am, 24 hours in to a 36 hour fast.  It has been an interesting day to say the least.

First of all, I spent all but the last 4 hours (7-11) of the day all alone.  This allowed for a few good rounds of meditation, but also tested my will power A LOT.  I was sitting here at home, with a fridge full of food, not to mention the yummy fruits I have already prepared for breaking the fast tomorrow.  Watermelon has never smelled so good!!

The thing I learned the most about myself today is that I eat out of boredom.  When occupied, this fast was a piece of cake.  Such as now as I am writing, if I feel an uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, I drink a few ounces of water and it passes.  When bored, however, my thoughts immediately went to food.

I also noticed an upswing around the times when I would normally eat.  My literature told me to expect this, as the body is used to its "feeding times".  But I think it has done me good to feel "real" hunger.  So often, I get bent out of shape if asked to wait an hour or two past my normal eating time.  That seems so silly to me now, having gone 24 hours without food and not in extreme amounts of pain.

One unexpected symptom: A horrible coating on my tongue that brought with it a nasty acidic metallic taste.  Again, I've looked it up and it's not abnormal.  But water certainly does not cut the taste, so a tongue scraper was my best friend today.

Perhaps the most important revelation today came during one of my mediations (they did seem easier today).  I have been struggling to deal with infertility, feeling like it is a never ending roller coaster that I must be crazy to stay on.  In a moment of clarity, a Star Wars reference came to me and lifted me from the funk.  "Do or do not, there is no try."  While some may question the validity of the source, The Force is quite Taoist and seems a natural fit for me.  I realized in that moment, that I had been "trying" to have a baby.  We were "trying" to fix Capt.'s health issue.  We were "trying" to deal with it emotionally as well.  Well, thanks to Yoda, I'm through trying.

We are fixing the problem, we will be successful, and we will deal with whatever comes our way.

I couldn't ask for a better outcome for today.  I will say that I am looking forward to my fruit tomorrow VERY much.  I am on the fence about the possibility of future fast.  I'm thinking I may try a brown rice fast next, but we'll see how I feel about it all tomorrow when it's done.

Thanks for sharing my journey with me.  :D

Friday, August 19, 2011

Let the Fasting Begin

As promised, I have begun a new spiritual adventure.  I am currently 12 hours in to my very first fast.

For those that don't know, a fast is simple a length of time where a person chooses not to eat.  There are many reasons that people choose to fast, but generally they fall into two categories: Health & Spiritual.

Health- There are many health benefits to fasting, in fact our bodies are made to periodically fast.  Many cultures consider short fasts to be a part of a healthy lifestyle.  The general idea is that you give your body a break from digestion (where most of your daily calories are burnt), allowing it to focus on other ailing areas.  People have experienced wonderful benefits including release from depression, cured digestive ailments, and many chronic diseases.  Allowing your body to heal itself is as natural as it gets.

Spiritual- Everyone from Christians to Buddhists participate in fasts.  Jesus himself was known to fast.  Perhaps his most famous was the 40-day fast prior to his three year mission.  This is where the 40 days and 40 nights of sacrifice for God comes from.  Buddhist monks routinely practice fasting as well as Islamic people, Native Americans, and of course, Taoist and Zen practitioners as well.  Fasting provides a time of mental clarity where meditations are deeper (some feel closer to God) and self-discovery.

For me, the reasons are all of the above.  I am hoping to become a regular faster (once a month or year depending on length), but I know I must start small.  My goal for this fast is 36 hours.  I am following proper fasting procedure, eating only fresh fruit before and after the fast to aid the transition.  They say that the first 12 hours is the hardest, so I purposely put those hours during sleep, and so far so good.  I'm having some hunger pains, but nothing unmanageable. 

I will not be posting anything about my fast anywhere but here, as advised by my books, because people do not understand fasting, and it's easier for me to not have to defend against misunderstanding during the fast.  But please know that fasting is COMPLETELY different from starvation.  I am in a controlled and unstressful environment.  I will not develop Anorexia which is noted by a distorted body image (I'm perfectly aware of the actual shape of my body).  But most importantly, if done right, fasting is not dangerous.  My body will be better off, not damaged by this practice.

I will try to report again either late tonight or tomorrow with any revelations that may come my way during my fast. I hope to try different kinds of fasts and different kinds of meditations while fasting and report back here.

Wish me luck :)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The Power of the River

Be still as the mountain and flow like the great river.

This is a Taoist mantra I find myself always repeating to myself (even considering tattoo representation). Well, does the US have a river greater than the mighty Mississippi?

This weekend we camped at Buffalo Shores, a campsite with free access to the beach of the Mississippi River. It was awe inspiring! Don't get me wrong, I love camping on lakes, especially ones that you can swim in. But there is just something different about a river. I'm a firm believer that everything in nature has an energy to it, and the energy from this river was amazing. We would sit on the shore, running our fingers through the sand and watching the water slowly come back and forth on our feet. A full moon made this a mystical experience to beat all!

The large paddleboats were fun to watch, and the never ending barges going by was great. Always something to watch. The campsite itself was a little crowded, every site being full. But the accommodations were nice, and we ended up next to some really nice people. Great food and catching up with a friend we never see were the top off of a great weekend. I really had no desire to leave, it was such an inspiring experience making the real world seem so mundane.

I feel closer to the Tao after this weekend, and have been inspired to try something new spiritually. More details on that later, but amazing how one weekend getaway can recharge a soul!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

An interesting question about parenting

I was recently asked an interesting question. I was giving a reference for a friend concerning a foreign exchange program and was asked the question, "Would you let your child stay with these people for a year?" I answered without hesitation, easy question (even though I don't have have a child, lol).

We had houseguests this weekend when I got that call, and it occurred to me. If you want to know about parenting, would it not be a better question to ask, "Would you willingly watch their child for a year." It happens that I would also do that in a heartbeat for the people I was referencing for. Our houseguests at the time, on the other hand, would be a different story.

Now to be fair, our visitor was in his terrible two's, much more difficult than the older children referenced earlier, but I think I would have taken them at two as well (even though I didn't know them then so I can be 100%).

I just wonder if it is a better tell of parenting style by looking at the children and their behavior. Of course I realize that all kids are different and I don't mean to pick on our little visitor because he also adorable and very loved. But compatibility can be an issue when dealing with caring for other people's kids.

Interesting food for thought.