Quote - Andre Gide

"I'm erecting a barrier of simplicity between myself and the world."

-Andre Gide

Our Valentine Tradition

I come from a family of gift givers. The focus at our house growing up was finding presents with a lot of thought behind it (poems and handmade gifts were prized above all others), not just some random thing no one wanted anyway. So this was how I viewed the world, then along came Captain.

My husband is officially the worst gift giver on the planet (He's gotten better, but the title is well earned). It's not his fault, he grew up in a family that didn't believe much in giving gifts (at all, canceling Christmas when he was 12). We struggled in the early years of our relationship, both with our separate ideas of what's the best way to do things.

I insisted that he should be able to find something that makes him think of me, or write me a love letter, or something that had thought behind it, he countered that if he bought something, the more money spent the more he loved me.
He insisted that he loves me everyday, so why should one day be special. I countered that I don't look at it like I don't love him any other day, but I jump at any chance to celebrate the amazing love that we share.

Eventually, with a lot of compromising on both our parts (we are very good at that) we came up with a Valentine's tradition that we love. Every Vday we go to a restaurant that we've never been to before. No gifts necessary, just conversation. I LOVE this tradition. Not only does it mean a nice evening together with my husband (no cell phones allowed), but I get to try something new. My husband is a creature of habit and would only go to 1 or 2 restaurants for the rest of his life and be totally happy.

I look forward to our conversations each year about where we should go, any places we've thought about trying, etc. One year, when we couldn't afford much, we opted for trying a new recipe instead.

I know many are so fed up with the commercialism of Vday that they ignore it all together, and that's their choice. But for me, Vday is a chance to dress up a little (I never get to otherwise) and share a unique fun experience with the man I love more than anything in the world. For the rest of my life, I know there's one day a year that our love will take a new adventure.

The Year of The Ox

A very happy new year to all those who celebrate with the lunar calendar, as most Taoists do. This day is most well known as the Chinese new year, but is celebrated all over by lunar calendar followers.

This year ushers into the year of the Ox. The Ox is dependable, modest, calm and stable, they tend to speak little but when they do are quite eloquent. The Ox is exactly what we need this year to help our failing economy. Here are some Ox facts:

1. Our new president, Barack Obama is an Ox. Oxes tend to achieve through hard work and routine.

2. Oxes are some of the truest friends you'll ever have.

3. Oxes tend to be good at careers like composer, landlord, doctor, cook, police officer, teacher, judge, banker, insurance broker and gardener.

4. A Chinese New Year tradition had the elders giving red envelopes to the young people that contain money.

5. Oxes are most compatible with Snakes, Roosters & Rats.

I am a monkey, but can really see the need for an Ox.

Happy New Year!! Happy New Year!! Happy New Year!! Happy New Year!!

On Eating

I decided to share another story from my book Tales from the Tao, which I love more and more. This story I totally get and just want to share.

On Eating by Solala Towler

A teacher was traveling with some of her students. At one of their stops they were served the meat of a pig. The students were horrified to see the teacher calmly eating this forbidden food. "Teacher," they cried, "is not the flesh of an animal forbidden by our order?"

The teacher went on chewing slowly, clearly savoring the taste of the pig. When she had finished she said, "Can you not see that it was a great and honored gift from these poor people to be given this delicacy? No doubt it was given at great cost to them and with an attitude of humbleness and generosity. Who am I to spurn their gift?"

"Besides," she said, taking another bite, "it is not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, but what comes out."
***

This story has 2 great messages packed into one short story. I am constantly baffled by how entirely ungrateful people are. Yet another thing my husband has taught me, always show your gratitude, if you think they get it, say thank you one more time.

And the last line is a doozy.

So another year has come to an end. I thought I'd do a recap of the events that shaped this roller coaster of a year for me. This is probably more for myself than anything, but here goes:

Just a note: N=Nephew so a nephew named Brad would be NB. F=Friend, MIL= Mother in Law Captain = My hubby

The year started of cool with us winning the "sack of groceries" at the Holiday Auction they had. This consists of a large list of food items that we would get free from Fareway once a month, all year. A really neat prize that we enjoyed up until this month!! It also saw me avoiding Captain's mother, but we won't get into that.

February brought the incredibly painful loss of my grandmother Hildred. I was very close to her, so this one hit me pretty hard. Luckily at this point I was beginning my search into other religions, and it's about this time I came first came across Taoism, which helped me think about death a little different.

March rang in with another tragedy when my 59 year old uncle passed away. This one was shocking, but not as hard personally as I didn't know him well. It was terrible for my mom though, and a bit of a reality check when you lose someone so young. I think about how my mom was younger than me when she lost her dad, gasp, I can't even imagine.

April brought a wonderful OCT play called Mixed Nuts. FKi and I had been saving this one till we found directors we could trust it with as we wanted to be in it. We found that with My Mom & FHe, and the show was fantastic!! Also this month was the forming of a book club known as Universal Khaki.

May brought a new job for Captain working tech support for Cloud Ten. The best part of this was he works from home, so his commute is 30 seconds. After that, this month was welcomely uneventful. May also brought me a new nephew, ND.

June/July brought nice weather and camping. Universal Khaki continued and gave birth to a D&D club, still meeting (tonight in fact). We also got to know FHe's husband who is a lot of fun to D&D with!! Their family also came camping with us and I think had as much fun as we did. NKr & NM also joined us. We also developed a TV show starring Uncle Captain and his nephew M. (JK, but it was a running joke ) Mom & I sold some stuff at the Nationals. Captain turned 30!!!

In August, Capt's VA decision came through. Big sigh of relief from both of us.

September brought yet another play and one last trip to Lake Rathbun. I went from Russian Ballerina to short lived famous chef. This play was alot of fun because it had almost everyone in it, or so it seemed to me. At this point, FAl joined our D&D group, then when he DM'd he brought Be.

October saw Death by Chocolate perform. It also saw OCT go into lease negotiations, which was not pleasant. We had our Day of the Dead celebration on Halloween again, quite a lot to add this year. More D&D was played and books were read. NKy turned 3.

November brought the weather, and for me a new blog!! That's when I started this blog. Mom joined us for Book Club, and more importantly she got a new job!! She is now the circulation manager at the paper. Thanksgiving was as reported on earlier.

December came, and we took our annual shopping trip with Dad which was very nice. Spent a lot more time with Dad this year, and am very glad of that. We attempted to celebrate Yule in Cedar Rapids, and FKi turned ??? I won't reveal it if you don't know. Christmas was wonderful on all accounts. And New Year's was interesting if nothing else.

All in all, a roller coaster of a year. The Universe giveth & The Universe taketh away. Thus is the cycle of life.

When is enough enough?

I have been contemplating the Tao Te Ching's concept of enough is enough. It says - When overfilled, the cupped hands drip, so better to stop pouring. Our society has really taken on a more is better attitude. We think that we have to have more to be happy. From our food portions (I'm quite guilty of this one) to our vehicles, Americans tend to want more and want it as big as possible, not to mention they want it NOW. I find myself falling prey to this alot, falling for the old marketing ploy of why get 1 for $3 when you could get 2 for $5. I think it's this line of thinking that Lao Tzu was warning against.

A glass can only hold so much water. No matter how much more you pour, no more will make it into the glass. I equate this to the thought that things can only make you so happy. So if you have some things, buying more things will likely not effect your happiness level much. Where if you stop and look at those things you already had, you may find that you can be quite happy just appreciating what you have.

It also talks about how filling a house with gold and jade breeds only insecurity. It makes sense to me that in theory the man with nothing to lose feels no need to lock his door at night. Having very valuable possessions makes someone fearful of losing them. I used to be that way with diamond jewelry my husband bought me, I was afraid to wear it for fear the chain would break or I would somehow lose this expensive gift. One day my husband asked why I never where a particular piece, so I told him. He wisely responded, "Honey, I did not buy that for you, hoping you would lock it away and never wear it. I'd rather you wear it always and enjoy it, even if one day it does get lost, then it would be worth it because it brought you joy that it never can sitting in a box."

Amazing how much my husband teaches me everyday, I hope it's always that way. I think today I'm going to appreciate everything I have in my life, instead of focusing on the few things that may be absent.

Lesson well learned

So last night we headed, against my hubby's better judgement due to weather to Cedar Rapids for a celebration of Yule. Us 3 girls had looked forward to this night for weeks, practically giddy as we departed.

We had great conversation on the way, our expectations were high. Imagine our shock and dismay as we pulled up to the church and it was dark. After jumping out, I read the sign on the door that said Yule celebration moved...to next weekend!! We were beside ourselves with grief for a few minutes. Then, we rallied like champs in my opinion. We headed off to Olive Garden, where we discussed what lesson the universe was teaching us.

We came to several conclusions, I believe all could be right. The one I found most true was that we were so excited to celebrate a holiday with a bunch of strangers, doing it their way, and perhaps we needed to learn that we only needed each other, and our way, whatever it may be. We also hopped over to Barnes and Noble, a favorite haunt of all of ours and stayed until they kicked us out. The ride home consisted of more in depth conversation, that was amazing and enriching in my opinion. I came home thinking about what we talked about and how I can use it in my daily life.

All in all after the night I felt immense Gratitude. It is so amazing to me that these three women can have these in depth conversations, never judging and always with an open mind. From a point of view of learning and growing, which I felt we all did last night. My Yule revelation has to be that I am so lucky to have two friends I love so much. I am truly blessed.

The miracle of water

I have always been a big fan of water. It is no secret amongst my family and friends that I waterfalls with a passion.

The 8th Verse of the Tao Te Ching asks us to contemplate water and its ability to nourish life without even trying. To me, water is like a physical manifestation of the energy (or Tao) that runs through everything. It has the amazing ability to move mountains with its power, yet is gentle enough to bath an infant. Water can take any shape, and has no problem changing course on a moments notice. I believe that's where we get the phrase, "go with the flow." This is a fine example of the Taoist teaching of nonaction. The water does not resist the obstacle, it finds another way around the problem.

A Taoist practicing in life would not be easily upset by anything, trusting that everything is unfolding as it should, and merely looking for the alternative route around whatever problem presented itself.

Welcome to my journey as a Taoist...

I would like to start by saying that I do not take calling myself a Taoist lightly. Although I am new to Taoism as a religion, my religious journey began as I was very young. My parents never really took us to church, my mom being Lutheran and my dad being Methodist, but neither really practicing.

We went to bible school in the summers, so I learned all the Christian basics. I spent a week with my grandparents, with my grandmother who is the most devout and true Christian I've ever met to this day. As a teenager, I felt something missing in my life, and my spiritual search began. I went to no fewer than 6 churches in the town where I live. All were full of nice people who welcomed me with open arms.

Unfortunately, for me, the teachings of all these Churches just didn't speak to me. I went to college right after high school where I met a friend who is Celtic Wiccan, she introduced me to it, and I thought I might be on to something. My last year of college, I met my now husband who is a Pagan. This path interested me a great deal, but there was still something missing.

I began researching every major religion I could come across. I read about Buddhism, which also spoke to me, but it still wasn't what I was looking for. I read the Koran, learned about the Jewish faith, and looked into Baha'i, Hinduism and Mormonism. Non of which was the path I was seeking.

Then, I came across Taoism. From the first translation of the Tao Te Ching I read, I was hooked. I could not believe how much sense this book made. Everything fit. I felt as though a light inside me suddenly flickered on and I could see the way at last.
So I began my journey into Taoism, reading everything I could find from the library and on the Internet. I have never looked back since. Even my family said they saw an amazing change in me, a passion they hadn't seen before.

I now officially call myself a Taoist, because every day I try to think about the Tao and how it effects my life. This blog is just a piece of that. There is not an overabundance of Taoist information out there, so I thought I could help anyone who is where I was to find the true Way.

Lost in a sea of blue

OK, so here's the story of my devotion as a daughter/aunt.

My dad came to me and told me that for Christmas he wanted to do something really special for Kylie (my 3 year old niece). He said that she enjoys watching cartoons with Grandpa, and her favorite was Oswald, the big blue octopus. I had no clue what he was talking about, but he said he wanted to find a stuffed Oswald for her to cuddle with while they watch cartoons.

Sounds really sweet right? Well it is, unless you realize that there are no stuffed Octopus' available, anywhere. The only place I found them was on Ebay for the tune of over $200. Not quite the price range my dad had in mind. So I look at him, all disappointed, and my eyes fall on my spanking new sewing machine, then back to Dad, then back to the machine. Awwww, how hard could it be?? Famous last words.

So I set the DVR to tape an episode of Oswald and find my cat's toy jelly fish to use as a pattern. I spent days working out the right way to put it together. Walmart is the only place in town I know of to get fabric, so off I went. I found a nice fleece, a little darker than I wanted, but the lighted blue they had. So anyway, I set about sewing a blue octopus.

All was going well until I realized that while dad had wanted it to be about the size of a basketball, it was fast becoming more the size of a beach ball. It grew and grew as I made it.

I finally finished it today, and I've got to say, I'm pretty proud. While it is obvious that it is homemade, I think you can tell who it is, and that's what'll matter to Kylie. It's also very soft and cuddly.

Here's what he's supposed to look like:


Here's Mine, with a cat in the picture to give you an idea of the size: